My Fire Walking Experience and How it Taught Me About Ritual
Last July my mom and I attended our first Tony Robbins Event, Unleash the Power Within (UPW). I had heard before going to the event, that one of the things you do at UPW is walk on fire. Which to be honest, I was excited to do, it sounded like fun. UPW is a 4-day event so I figured at least halfway through is when we’d be getting to the fire walking.
We’re at the event, day 1, have done some intro stuff in the morning, and are just getting used to how things go. This event is his biggest one to date, 18,000 people are in attendance. We fill an entire stadium in New Jersey. Tony throws up a live video stream of outside the stadium where a huge team is building many fires… for the firewalk… which is going to be happening TONIGHT, day 1. Much earlier than I had anticipated. The music starts getting louder, and Tony starts psyching us up for this event. We do training all throughout that afternoon for the firewalk. What your mindset needs to be, that you need to be totally present, what to say to yourself as you’re making your walk etc. We practice this over and over, imagine it in our heads. We also learn a chant to do as we’re making our way to the firewalk and to do throughout the event.
Midnight rolls around, Tony tells us to take off our shoes and socks, leave all our stuff at our seats and to start walking outside for the firewalk. 18,000 people follow directions, and barefoot, we leave the seats and start walking in the halls, everyone is chanting. I start to get really excited, there is something that feels so tribal about this. Being in a huge group, chanting together, all working together to do this crazy thing. As we’re heading outside, I imagine how strange this must look to the employees of the stadium who are watching us, haha. We get outside and there are 14 lines of fire to walk across. The temperature of the coals is somewhere between 900 and 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit. The chanting continues and I start to dance a bit in my line (I love to dance). I have this super powerful feeling of all these humans coming together to accomplish this feat.
The guy before me in line heads across the coals and I step up for my turn. There is a massive crew of trained volunteers working at this event. The woman in charge of my line asks me “Are you ready?” I answer with a resounding “YES!” She counts me down and I head across. The first step, I wasn’t entirely in peak state and I can feel a coal under my right foot that’s hot. I immediately get into the right state of mind and head the rest of the way across. They use a hose to wash my feet and then I celebrate with another volunteer, dancing around. My mom comes across and we remark on how easy it felt and that we can’t believe it was over so fast. I look at the bottom of my feet and notice only two very small blisters on my right foot from that first coal, and NO OTHER MARKS ON MY FEET. My mom has no marks on her feet. Wild! So cool!
How I learned about Ritual
Fire walking is an example of a RITUAL. One that has been done for thousands of years. (Obviously, only something to be done with trained professionals.) If you want more info on the fire walk I did, and the benefits, check out the info on Tony’s website here. http://www.tonyrobbinsfirewalk.com/
I didn’t even think of it as that at the time, I thought it was just a fun, new adventure. I was reading through the beginning of my new planner – Rituals For Living Dreambook + Planner - about a month ago. It mentioned ritual, how it’s something that has almost been lost in our culture. Which got me thinking. If you have read any of my previous blogs, you’ll notice I mention coffee a lot… I really like coffee.
So, of course I think about coffee. I’ve been thinking I should drink tea instead of coffee in the morning because I know it’s healthier. However, I find myself continually reaching for the coffee in the morning, thinking, “I’ll have tea tomorrow morning,” which doesn’t happen… I couldn’t figure out WHY I kept choosing coffee. It’s not that I actually like the taste that much more than tea. So what keeps me coming back to it? And then it hits me, I think it’s because it’s one of the few rituals I have! I drink coffee every morning, and most of my friends and family do too, so anytime I’m with them… we all drink coffee together. Ritual. It’s so fun. Hmmm…
Other Examples of Rituals
What other rituals do we still have? My mind then jumps to weddings… white dress, something blue, bachelor and bachelorette parties, bridal showers, vows, speeches, first dances… weddings are full of rituals. Working out could be a ritual for some. Holidays possibly. New babies come with rituals: baby showers, celebrations when they arrive. Maybe football games on Sundays. Going to church.
Seems we still have a few, and we really enjoy the ones we have. Why? Because rituals give things in our lives meaning. They bring us to the present moment. Cause us to celebrate. Bring focus. Dedication. Order.
Excellent TED talk on this here: Why We Still Need Ritual
Another TED talk on the subject: The Power of Ritual
Think about the things in your life that are rituals, aren’t they something that brings you happiness? Or calm? Would you like to have more of that feeling in your life?
Maybe it’s time to create some new rituals. I got this step by step guide from this article: Why We Need Rituals (And How to Develop Your Own) Check out the article to also find some examples of rituals the writer has, and his view on why they are important.
HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN RITUALS: a STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE
Determine an area in which you’d like a ritual: Here’s a hint: take an area of your life where you’d like healthier, better practices and thoughts. It could be time management, health, simplifying, resting, organizing, connecting, or learning.
Identify practical, repeatable actions that you could do (or already do) that relate to this area. It could mean a weekly phone call you already make, or learning to pick up gratitude journaling if you don’t already.
Set a rhythm in place for this action, coupling it with another action that adds value. This could mean listening to uplifting music as you get ready in the morning. It could mean applying a relaxing hand cream while you say your evening prayers.
Create an accountability system through a partner or incentive. Developing new rituals can be difficult, especially as they might seem a bit arbitrary at first. Have someone check in with you as you seek to put your rituals in place. Give yourself an incentive to work towards as the ritual becomes second nature.
Another Ritual of Mine: For Sleep
One quick example of another ritual I developed without thinking about it. I’ve had a hard time with getting to sleep and staying asleep for years. Ever since my first head injury. Couple that with some intense nightmares that occur very often, and my quality of sleep was pretty poor. I have been working on having better sleep for a long time. As with anything, a variety of elements have come together to vastly improve my sleep. One of the things that has helped me the most is the app, headspace. It’s is a guided meditation app that I love. The creator, and voice of the app is a man named Andy that used to be a monk, which I think gives him a very nice, relaxing voice. I tried out the app, and then bought a year subscription. There are a TON of different session on the app, but one of the sessions is called Sleeping – which as of today I have used 190 times. I started to listen to this 10-minute meditation every night when I went to sleep, and I’ve hardly ever heard the end of the session because I am already sleeping. Which is AMAZING because it used to take me 1-2 hours to fall asleep. Less than 10 minutes is ideal!
One Last Thing
Which leads me to one other thing about rituals. It’s not always something that you want to do at the time, but the payoff is definitely worth it. Almost every night I think, “I probably don’t have to listen to headspace tonight.” But I make myself do it, and I am always glad I did when I have a good night of sleep.
COMMENT and tell me what rituals you have that you really enjoy, or maybe one you’d like to start!
